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Only in Australia June, 1999 |
RIPPING OFF MOOD HIGH: 33 LOW: 26 |
PMT TENSION Index 451.05 -18.93 |
CRICKET INDEX: Frantic Rugby: Quotient -12 |
Road-Rage Index 4,850 Cane-Toads Death Toll 48532 |
  ANGER WITH GENETICALLY MODIFIED LAMINGTONS MP Karen Carpenter leads the protest while other demonstrators wave banners at a rally outside CSIRO yesterday. The group demanded that scientists stop research on genetically modified lamingtons, even if these do extend their shelf life from six days to six years.
Gum leaf to become Australia's new flag"I just found it in my backyard," says competition chair.After 20 year national debate, the head of the committee searching for a new flag design, b.freddy.com.au, said that while assessing the 2000 plus entries for the new flag, "a gum leaf sticking out of my shoe attracted my attention. It was like no gum leaf I'd ever seen." Mr b.freddy.com.au will blow his $50,000 flag-prize money on a Sure Thing in Race 5 at Randwick today.
Snowtown judged tidiest town in South AustraliaJudges commend the well-maintained car wrecks in people's front yards used for spare partsI will certainly come back here in a hurry, said local area resident joe.smith.com.au as he was speeding in his loaded-up box trailer in a Melbournely direction...
Opening of Sorry Rooms at Australian AirportsTourists applaud new Sorry RoomsUpon arrival in Australia, all tourists are to be taken to the specially appointed rooms and taught there to say "I am sorry" no matter what the situation...
Surfers demand personal waveGovernment to legislate on issue of personal waves to unemployed surfersSmall surfers seeking an option to Bondi waves will get their chance from July 1, when $25 million worth of Waverley Council owned waves will go on sale. |
GAY MASCOT FOR SYDNEY OLYMPICSPriscilla Possum to Become Official Sydney Olympics MascotPriscilla Possum comes in the stuffed and un-stuffed versions for those who might want to put their hands up it and use it as a puppet.
Woman sues own laptopCharges gross sexual harrassment from her own laptop.The 3.5 kg Pentium laptop will be charged under the Hardware Proclivities Act and placed on remand.
Soharto has $32.40 in Oz bank cacheInnocent teller at national.bank.com.au stumbles on stashTreasury says its financial position makes it impossible to confiscate Soharto nest egg.
Revealed mystery weather manCRICKET SCANDAL: "I am the one who told Shane Warne about the weather," says local area resident.Racked by guilt, Mr brian.bury.com has come forward and revealed that he felt responsible for the debacle. "When he asked me what was the weather like, I am the one who told him 'It's raining.'"
Vegemite even more effective than ViagraEXCLUSIVE: Latest research shows that Vegemite might be more effective aphrodisiac than Viagra. Experts believe this may explain why Australian lovers commonly rank among the Top 50 lovers in OECD countries. Ms monica.clinton.com.org, spokesperson for the public relations company G.S.T. Howard which represents the University of Central Australia, funder of the research undertaken by vgmt.com, said yesterday that in sex experiments conducted by Able Goldsmith in which rats were fed a small jar of Vegemite on the hour for three months, resulted in rats running around in a permanent state of arousal. Though these resulted are heartening, other experts warn that if translated to humans this would mean that an average person would have to eat their body weight of Vegemite a day to get the same result as a 10 mg pill of Viagra.
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 Current Obsessions in Australia
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Why Kissing Always Means 'Yes'
OIA
Aussie SpyJobs
Whale Hunters
Snowtown Bank Managers
IOC Delegates
One Nation KKK Members
Olympics Image Consultants
-Egyptian Pyramids found in the Northern Territory
-Tasmania drifting away from Australia at the rate of 50 cm a year
-Miniature crocodiles successfully bred in Queensland
-The We Care About Stuffed Cane Toads Project
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Quote of the month "I think Australia can no longer ignore or be cool to the feelings of those who want to come here and cuddle a koala." Henry Lawson, immigration minister, while visiting illegal immigrants caught trying to land their boats on a deserted beach in Western Australia. 4000 years ago 4000 years ago this month, Koori tribe leaders warn all up-country families to beware of procurers trying to lure girls to Kings Cross brothels with false offers of jobs. © Copyright Major Mitchell Press, June 1999 e-mail us with comments and letters to the editor. |
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