Mother's Day

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Mother's Day
March the eighth throughout the world is "Women's Day". On this date, all men from young to old, give flowers, gifts and special dinners to the females in their lives, in appreciation of feminine attributes and achievements. On International Women's Day the entire female sex is celebrated.

Such a manifestation of feeling has been found to be insufficient in this country. While every Australian's mother is undoubtedly a female, lumping her together with the rest of the world simply did not seem fair, seeing that her roles and responsibilities are so much greater.

To begin with, Australian mothers allow their children a vast deal of freedom and youngsters grow up with hardly any restraints. It is rare to see limitations imposed even upon the youngest of infants. Children are permitted to develop naturally and unencumbered from birth, according to the best pioneering traditions. There are, however, a few limitations which even the most liberal-minded mother must observe, if her offspring are to fit into this society.

Helpful

All curiosity manifested by children for objects, ideas, or people, ought to be countered and rebuked with healthy stream of admonitions:
  "Don't you touch anything!" or,
  "Don't be a sticky beak!" or,
  "It's none of your business!"

  Should any adult relative or friend address your children directly, a mother must always make a point of jumping in and answering for the kids:
  "Bianca doesn't know."
  "Trent is too young to understand."
  "Jane is not feeling well today."

  Embarrassing displays of affection on the part of the children for other people, ought to be prevented at all costs with a stern:
  "Don't bother Uncle Bill!"
  "Leave Aunty Violet alone!"
  "Stop being a nuisance!"

Practical

Overseas mothers waste a lot of their children's time with pointless reminiscences, idle dreams, silly pranks and foolish romantic stories from their own childhoods. Australia must be the only country in the world where a mother's conversation is entirely instructional, since she is determined to improve her children at every chance she gets.
  "Tidy your room."
  "Hang up your clothes."
  "Rinse your plate."

Patient

Only Australian mothers know how hard it is to teach kids the meaning of patience. Techniques differ from household to household, but making children wait for their nourishment is perhaps still the most effective.

  The instant a child asks to be fed or arrives home hungry and expecting alimentation, it is a mother's duty to reply with a clear:
  "Wait a minute!"
  "I'm busy!"
  "I've only got one pair of hands."

  It's advisable to keep the kids waiting for anything from twenty minutes to entire afternoons. You certainly shouldn't dish out food the moment they ask for it as youngsters might start taking it for granted. The advantage is that it prepares them for life in a country where things always take a little longer than everyone thinks.

In recognition of these and many other admirable attributes, the grateful nation has set aside the second Sunday in each May to celebrate with a great deal of devotion mothers right across the country.

  On this day from early morning everyone in the family is busy preparing for the festivities. The men fight over who is to be the one to make the toast, the girls bring flowers and chocolates. Older children make an effort to turn up. They might take you out for a meal, or just give you nylon brunch coats, cordless irons, fluffy pink slippers, tools to turn carrots into flowers, or maybe even a nonstick skillet.

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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