The Loungeroom

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

The Loungeroom
A well-designed home in Australia ought to be able to trap any would-be visitors at the front door, and then keep them there for as long as possible, or until they decide to go away.

  Any soundly built house must also be able to encourage relatives, and especially friends, to enter through the back door so that they may be ensnared in the kitchen. This is where most social activities occur.

  The loungeroom is the last place you take people into.

  Unfortunately, there are rare occasions when you are forced to use the loungeroom. Here are a few handy hints to ensure that the guests' sojourn there is of minimum length:

  Ensure the loungeroom furniture appears concreted in or bolted down. Create the impression that should any item be moved a centimetre either way, the owners would feel incredible personal distress.

  Push sofas, chairs and settees against the walls so that visitors have to sit a long way from each other. This prevents any undue intimacy and discourages over-relaxing.

  Place coffee tables either too close to allow people to stretch out their legs or otherwise just out of reach.

  Leave huge empty spaces in the middle of the room. This facilitates vacuuming and also reproduces the perimetric life-style of the Australian continent.

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Roddy The Rooster & Friends

Site
by
JMV

Search | Home | Contents | Books

A Hop Through Australia's History