Why Losers Are Heroes

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Why Losers Are Heroes
When the English lose at competitive sports, the loss is attributed to bad luck. If an American loses, people blame inadequate training. When an Australian loses, no blame is attached to it whatsoever. On the contrary, the event is regarded as a special achievement and the sportsperson is praised either for trying very hard, having given their all, or making 14th when they could have come last. Besides glory and public recognition, the loser with enough failures to their credit also receives that highest accolade of all - becoming a universally recognised Little Aussie Battler.

  What gladiators were to the Romans, or kamikazes to the Japanese, the Little Aussie Battler is to the folks of the Fifth Continent. They are the legendary heroes and heroines who fight against all odds... and lose... and lose... and lose.

  Spectators in a Bucharest or Buenos Aires stadium will curse and villify their favourite players at every defeat. Threatening the loser with impalement or castration is routine. Running onto the field with machetes is also quite popular. Sending the fallen hero into exile is a further variation.

  One should not expect any of this in Australia.

  While in other parts of the world a beaten sportsperson will come away from a lost match or competition scarlet with shame, veins popping, only this side of a stroke, here the loser is safe in the knowledge that even after the greatest disasters people will give them a head jerkingly pleased thumbs up signal.

  Calling your favourite bested player or competitor "great", "brave", "wonderful", "terrific" or just plain "Little Aussie Battler" - humiliation after humiliation - is highly recommended. No compliment should ever be good enough for a loser.

  A certain fascination for failure is a prerequisite for this kind of attitude. In simpler terms, while overseas people look forward to success, in Australia it is failure that's going to be the source of your greatest joys. If talking of friends, mention only those who lost all their money. If discussion touches on history, quote only lost battles, preferably by troops wiped out nearly to the last person. It's important to understand that whereas even kindergarten children can give you a list of battles lost by the "good guys" (Eureka, Gallipoli, etc.), most graduates find it hard to name a single battle where Little Aussie Battlers have triumphed.

  Australians have long accepted that there is something trustworthy about failure. Ned Kelly failed and he's revered for it. If only Howard Florey had just missed out on discovering penicillin - instead of actually discovering it - he could have had shopping centres named after him.

  After all, if you win, nobody knows whether you're really doing your best. It might have simply been luck. If you come second, or third, or even last, people at least will know that you've exerted yourself. Then there is the added knowledge that if you've won, you've probably cheated, or tried too hard, at the expense of something in your personal life.

  Whereas if you lose, at least you're honest.

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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