Why Kissing Always Means Yes

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Why Kissing Always Means "Yes"
It's all very well for Italians or South Americans to kiss at the slightest pretext - flirtatious people by nature, for them kissing is a shallow affair. Many may even do it with people on whom they have absolutely no designs.

  Australians, highly moral and honourable, by contrast, will kiss for one purpose and one purpose only.

  In Europe when two people get to kiss each other, they often perform the act in a passionate though not overly optimistic manner. Europeans as a rule kiss purely for pleasure, often using it to avoid deeper, more intimate commitments.

  In Australia once you've kissed there's no turning back. Australians kiss to let you know that they're ready. Like right now.
  "Mmmm. That was nice."
  "Yeah."
  "Something just clicked."
  "Sure did."
  "Wait till I lock the door."

  Kissing is the key ritual of an otherwise straightforward operation. Couples are meticulous about it and have made it the cornerstone of sex.
  "Kiss me again."
  "No."
  "Why?"
  "Let's make love instead."

  After all, if you are going to go to all the trouble and actually invade someone's personal space, you might as well go all the way.

Many people from overseas, after making initial contact with Australians and kissing them quite passionately, think nothing more of it. On the following occasion, wishing to pick up where they left off, these folk (myself among them) are shocked to find that we no longer arouse the same degree of interest as before.
  "What's wrong?"
  "Nothing."
  "Then kiss me."
  "What's the point?"
  "I like you!"
  "You sure didn't show it last time."

  The most popular and successful lovers in Australia know to hold back to the last moment and not to waste their kisses on hellos or goodbyes. They know only too well that kissing must be reserved only for main occasions.
  As an indication of readiness.
  As a signal that the congress is over.
  When you're drunk.

A successful Australian romantic evening consists of not kissing on meeting, absolutely not touching during dinner, major physical reticence on the way home, total abstinence while sitting around before the TV set, not even a hint of physical closeness while having that last nightcap. Then, just as you are about to say goodbye and both are wondering whether perhaps the other one is not a bit funny, one all-exploding kiss finally must come as a complete and instant outpouring of tension.

  Your highly reticent and moral Australian is now ready.

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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