Greeting Rituals

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Greeting Rituals
Australians, a happy-go-lucky and gregarious race of fatalists, are still somewhat confused as to what greetings to use in everyday encounters. "How do you do?" - too stuffy. "How are you?" - old fashioned. "G'day" is all right, but unless pronounced with perfect inflection it does more harm than good. "Hello" is not too bad, but considered weak. "Hi" - short but too informal. "Ciao!" is only acceptable to those who know how to spell it.

  For this reason, the best way to approach and greet people is to pretend that your mouth is full of hard-boiled eggs or, even better, to wait for someone to greet you first, and then echo their own favourite expressions.

  "How are you?"

  "How are you?"

  "Nice to meet you."

  "Nice to meet you."

  "Enjoyed talking to you."

  "Enjoyed talking to you too."

  Tourists and Newcomers usually have to struggle through a gamut of greetings before they realise that the society which has produced the corked hat and the wide-toothed shearing comb has not as yet created a greeting acceptable to all.

  Which brings us to that other point closely involved in the business of greeting - the problem of living in a classless society.

  In Germany, a nation known for its sharp class divisions, the greeting "Gruss Gott" is acceptable to everyone from accountant to count. Similarly, in France, birthplace of snobbery, two men exclaiming "Ca va?" know exactly what class they belong to, but are prepared to overlook it for the moment.

  It's only in Australia, the classless society, that people's egalitarian spirit won't allow them to come up with a greeting formula that could be uniformly used. This needs explaining.

  The Australian jealously guards the privilege to be considered the equal of all. However, the idea is that it is oneself who is the equal, not necessarily the others. Thus the Australian cherishes the idea of walking up to the Queen or the Governor-General and being able to exclaim "G'day" - while becoming most upset should someone else actually do so. If the Queen herself said "G'day" to an Australian, there would be a revolution.

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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