Curbing Your Generosity

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Curbing Your Generosity
Everyone (overseas, that is) knows that it is easier to be generous than mean. In generosity, one gives and forgets about it. Meanness, on the other hand, takes forethought, planning, organisation and a good deal of dodging.

  Yet for all its straightforwardness, generosity in these parts is fraught with many dangers. A European friend of mine found this out after buying flowers, chocolates, wines and other unimportant gifts for his colleagues.
  "You won't believe this", he exclaimed in agitation on one particular occasion, "but we went out last night, four of us blokes from the office, and we stayed out till past midnight. It was pleasant - and we all enjoyed ourselves saying things we didn't mean and purely for effect, when right at the end I went and did a stupid thing."
  "Don't tell me. You drank too much!"
  "I probably didn't drink enough. One minute we were sitting around, punching each other on the shoulders, the next moment I was at the bar settling the whole account."
  "Good God! You didn't!"
  "I know! How the hell will I face my friends now? There will be this terribly embarrassing gulf between us, especially in lifts and at the staff canteen. They'll never invite me out in case I do it again."
  "Well, would you like to go out with them again?"
  "Yes, I would like to make sure that there are other such occasions. I won't do anything foolish. As it is, half the office refuses to talk to me because I've given them small gifts on the odd occasion."
  "So why do you do it?"
  "I don't know. They're only inexpensive items, but it seems to be enough to send people scampering down passageways and back into the lavatory when they see me coming."
  "You've turned into the office creep!"
  "Isn't it terrible? I'll have to seek professional help."

  After extensive treatment, he was, he said one day, finally "cured".

  "No more digging into my pockets before everyone else", he said with pride. "No more sneaking behind people's backs to settle restaurant accounts. Now I split the bill down to the last cent, and keep an eye out on whose turn it is to shout at the pub. I can even visit my friends without taking any presents, and if talk comes to money, I've learnt to change the topic quick smart in case anyone asks to borrow some."
  "And are you happy?" I asked him.
  "Very. But there is one problem. Now it's my ex-European friends who avoid me."

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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