Robert Treborlang Australia

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A Hop Through Australia's History

Cross-Dressing
A fundamental understanding of cross-dressing is very useful, virtually indispensable if one is to get an insight into the unique culture of this country. The practice is far more prevalent than people suppose. Football players have the urge do it, public servants indulge in it, netball players try it, barristers get up to it, truckies attempt it, even politicians like to muck around. Most Australians find the idea quite attractive, almost alluring and even strait-laced people get the compulsion to sashay in and give it a go.

  I am not, however, talking about donning the garb of the opposite sex, with big hefty men going about in skimpy little floral numbers or about small slight women wearing heavy tweed suits. What I have in mind is the uncontrollable urge experienced by many people to dress up their feelings as opinions and their opinions as feelings.

  I am talking about people who say: "I feel there's too much violence on television" when they mean "I get so het up by all that physical stuff I see every night that I scare myself". About those who say "I feel the country's going to the dogs" when what they really feel is acid stomach.

  I'm talking about people who, instead of saying: "I feel insecure because I can't get anywhere with my career", have the inexplicable urge to come out with: "I feel the country is heading in the wrong direction". Or people who instead of admitting "I feel unhappy with myself" develop instead the uncontrollable need to say: "Life was not meant to be easy."

  And since such cross-dressers like their opinions to be treated as if they were their feelings, and since nothing would hurt them more than your suggestion that you can see through the disguise, it is important to treat whatever opinions they are telling you with the utmost seriousness.

  Telling a person who says: "I feel people shouldn't wear too much jewellery" that "This is not a feeling but merely an opinion" would be like telling a man who is starving that he is not really hungry, or bowling up to Edna Everage and advising her that she's an old bloke.

  Consequently it is absolutely essential for their mental well-being that you treat the opinions of such people as if they were feelings, for they become rather troublesome and testy if you disagree since as far as they are concerned you are stepping on their emotions.

  "I feel he's not a very nice guy."
  "I thought you said you loved him."
  "Well, I've changed my opinion."
  "The opinion that you love him or the feeling that he's nice?"
  "I can see it's pointless talking to you."
  The origins of this compulsion are rather obscure.

  Could it be that many are convinced that there is something wrong with the feelings they were born with and that expressing these feelings in their natural form might cause them to be thought of as uncouth, embarrassing ratbags?

  Some cross-dressers seem to go through life, just like so many real-life transvestites, with the discomfiting sensation of carrying around the shell of a feeling from which an opinion is trying to get out. Others seem to suffer because they realise that their bodies are producing too many feelings which they cannot seem to be able to turn into opinions fast enough.

  Going Public

  Support group councillors working as radio announcers, TV comperes and moderators consider it an important aspect of their work to help people come to terms with their inner need to transform emotions into opinions so that they can go public and flounce freely and uninhibitedly their impulses and urges.

  "I feel jealous of your two-carat diamond" comes out as "I hope you don't mind but I think it's a little ostentatious to wear too much jewellery."

  "I feel small and puny next to him" becomes "I reckon being tall and muscly is bad for the heart."

  Transforming Feelings Into Opinions

  It seems that while French is the language of love, Italian the language of music, and Irish the language of poetry, Australian is the language of opinion. Taught by other cross-dressers from an early age at home and in schools, people soon learn that instead of saying "I love him" tit is so much more acceptable to say: "I feel people should recognise the importance of mateship." And that instead of saying "I feel lonely and isolated" it is much more aesthetic to say: "Societies are more fragmented than ever before."

  For this reason when many people are asked: "What do you feel about me?" they can't say, "My pulse rate rises every time I see you turning the corner" but instead give an opinion: "I think you're a very nice person."

  In fact a large number would prefer it if people stopped saying to them "How do you feel?" a salutation of no relevance to their existence and started greeting them instead simply with: "And how do you opine today?"

  The fun really begins to hot up when a local and a newcomer or visitor attempt an exchange of ideas based on their respective feelings and opinions.

  "I'm really jealous of my sister and her success."
  "You don't mean that, Esmeralda."
  "You don't think so? I'm often consumed by jealousy and it gnaws at the pit of my stomach."
  "Are you sure you don't mean that she doesn't deserve her success because she's so selfish?"
  "Yes, perhaps that's it."
  "Well, then, I think you should have the daring to come out and say so."
  "But maybe my sister is not selfish, it's just that I feel jealous."

  Here the Australian feels a strong impulse to assist the newcomer to come to terms with herself and give her a helping hand at turning unproductive feelings into useful opinions.

  "Esmeralda, it's bad for you to hold things in. I mean if you think that she doesn't deserve all that money and that it is unfair that she should have so much more than you, I reckon you should have the guts to admit it and not hide behind the facade of jealousy."
  "I never thought of it that way."
  "It's because you've never had the courage to express yourself. But now that you're in Australia you must not be afraid to come out and speak the truth."


Copyright © 1991-2003 - Robert Treborlang

Robert Treborlang Australia

Roddy The Rooster & Friends

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A Hop Through Australia's History