Biting The Hand That Feels You

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

Biting The Hand That Feels You
It is dangerous to laud people for their good qualities. The trick, therefore, is to praise them for their faults.

  There are serious disadvantages to complimenting partners on their good qualities as people are suspicious of flattery and have learnt after two centuries of harsh realism to see through such obvious practices. It's best to hold back on:
  "You've got a fabulous figure" or
  "I love the shape of your eyes" or
  "You really turn me on."

  To begin with most of them already know all about their good traits and it's possible that you'll just trigger a monologue on why they are so wonderful and why what you are saying is so self-evident as to be superfluous.

  Also as you're not likely to praise them to the high level of their own secret appraisal of themselves anyway, you will simply achieve the very opposite result by incurring their wrath for undervaluing them.

  It's best to learn to channel, therefore, your excess infatuation or admiring urges into comments that are acceptable to your partners. In other words, you have to learn to praise people for their faults, or to put it in more fashionable terms: Learn to admire everyone for their negative traits. And here are a few tried and true, Anzac tested manoeuvres to secure victory:
  a) "I like it when you're always late. It gives me a chance to be by myself and to get things done."
  b) "I like it when you expect me to pay for my share of the dinner because it gives me a feeling of independence."
  c) "I just adore the way you turn your back on me the moment we finish making love. It gives me a feeling of security. I used to have all these lovers who wanted to envelop me with their feelings after it finished. They didn't realise I needed my personal space."

You should also tell people how exciting you find it when they do something anglo-celtic like run out of the room right after sex.
  "I love the challenge of fighting my loneliness whenever you just disappear. I feel you give me real chance to strengthen my character."

  When they sit around on their own or with their friends and make it clear they don't need anybody, don't complain that they are keeping up some sort of artificial shortage. Go right up and tell them that you what you admire most is their self-sufficiency.

  So your partner is a little agitated.

  You should accept this and take advantage of it. Say what a turn-on it is for you, them being tense. That the thing you hate most is a clinging relaxed lover. Make a feature of their tenseness, tell them how you dream of it at night.
  "You changed into this taut car seat and I was touching and caressing you as we sped along and then as I grabbed your armrests I accidentally set off the eject button and the two of us flew up into the sky with me clinging to your tense hard ungiving form."

  On another note, say that when they act strained and edgy that is when they make you feel the sexiest. "All those laid back attitudes don't turn me on."

  And instead of saying, "There you go ignoring me again," it's best to tell them, "You're obviously acting like that because you are so relaxed with me. I must be helping you with your endorphins."

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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