How To Be Natural

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

How To Be Natural
An up-to-date version of the ying and yang. It's all about harmony. Being true to yourself. Being effortless. Flowing with the effluent. Life, after all, must be natural and easy. And in order to have an Australian-style, effortless, natural life, you only have to remember a few points:

  If anyone tells you to do anything, it is natural to react in a sullen, non-communicative way, just as it is natural to expect resentment from anyone who might be told to do something.

  When men are being natural, they want you to acknowledge the fact, i.e. that they're being charming. This is the reason why, when natural males meet each other, they all know to acknowledge the special effort they're making at being natural.
  "I thought you were a real bludger but since I got to know you, you're okay."
  "Isn't that funny, because I thought you were a real skite, but you're just an ordinary bloke."

  For the woman, practising being natural is rather different. She is expected to be either sullen or have a high-pitched laugh. Being sullen indicates that she is naturally serious. A high-pitched laugh signifies that she is frivolously natural.

  Children are only allowed to behave one way: naturally. "Look into the camera, young lady. Be natural. Smile. And you young man, what do you have that sucked-lemon look for? You better look a bit more natural, all else!"

  It is also considered natural not to know very much, not to say much and not to show off.

  Being tense before sex is natural.

  Being tense after sex is even more so.

  It is natural to keep telling people how natural you are.

  Spontaneity is not natural, a person displaying spontaneous behaviour is usually considered an irritating artificial performer.

Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

Robert
Treborlang
Australia

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