[RT pic] Robert
Treborlang
Australia		 Roddy The Rooster
Roddy The Rooster & Friends
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Aussie Taming

How do you get your lovers to relax? Discourage them from relaxing, for one. Your lover is the member of a rugged and individualistic nation and therefore the moment he or she senses that they are expected to relax, they'll tense up like the tail of a hopping kangaroo. Best to keep them in a state of anxiety and stress. Nothing relaxes people more than tension because then at least they know where they stand.


At Your Bedroom Door

Don't invite him in, for god's sake. It would be like trying to trap an undomesticated beast. One of his major fears is that he might get stuck in there for hours; best to let him loiter near the door knob for that quick getaway. An Aussie with his hands on the knob is more relaxed than a Moroccan on half a kilo of hash. In fact, you'll never get rid of him that way.


If You Bump Into Each Other In The Street

Tell her you're in a hurry and have an urgent appointment. That should keep her nice and relaxed, chatting away for hours. She can see you're dying to get away and so will naturally become really eager to talk. In fact the more anxious you are to leave, the more relaxed she will be.


Set A Deadline

One of the most fascinating aspects of people here is their ability to relax in the face of a deadline. The transformation is often startling and almost instantaneous. People who until that moment suffered the most extreme side-effects of tension, find immediate relief the second they are given a deadline. It has the same effect as a Milo laced with bromide. They now feel fully entitled to drop everything and do some serious leisuring in anticipation of the trauma of meeting the deadline.

  "Okay, I want you to hurry up a bit."

  Whereas in countries like America or Japan there would be a sudden increase in the adrenaline flow, at the merest mention of the word "deadline" everyone starts to pump out soothing endorphins.

  "Mmmm, I thought it was at least ten twenty but it's only nine-fifty-seven and you said you didn't have to be back till quarter to so why don't we try for another one?"

  "Oh, all right."


If All Else Fails Try Disaster Stories

Hearing disaster stories is amazingly relaxing to Aussie lovers. Whereas stories of good fortune and success might make them tense and uptight, nothing puts them in a better frame of mind than a good disaster yarn:

  "Oh, did I tell you the ambulance had to come for me the other night after I left you? I took a bad turn and reached for my aerosol puffer. After about three squirts as my breathing was coming to a total standstill, I began to wonder why it was that the puffer seemed so much larger than before and noticed that I was pumping insect repellent down my throat instead. Didn't help with my asthma much but it did stop the buzzing in my ears."


 Copyright © 1991-2002 - Robert Treborlang

[RT pic] Robert
Treborlang
Australia		 Roddy The Rooster
Roddy The Rooster & Friends
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